A serious question

Leonie2 · A serious question

There is a father at our school who collects his children every day after school. Whenever he drives away I always notice that he drives very fast for a busy school lane and his two children (one in reception and one in y4) never had their seatbelts on. I've commented about him in the past to OH and another monther at the school and they've noticed the same thing and also feel he drives too fast considering it's a very narrow lane with cars parked each side of the road and children all over the place at that time of day. Anyway, until now I've never said anything because I don't want to get involved. But today he walked past me and he stinks of alcohol, I don't have the best sense of smell but even for me the smell was very strong. But he didn't appear to be drunk. I'm really not sure what to do though, my thoughts are that I should leave it and just watch and see what happens. I guess he could have spilt a bottle of something on him and not have drunk it. But at the same time it's niggling me, am I doing the right thing by not saying anything to anyone just yet.

Kathy

I'm sure there's a freephone crime stoppers number you can phone Leonie. I'm sure if you contacted it something would be done. I don't think you have to leave personal details either.

Kathy

Here it is:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/crime/support/crimestoppers.shtml

Leonie2

I don't know his name but I can get his vehicle registration number. I just don't want to do the wrong thing. I've never seen a mother collect the children so what happens if he's their only guardian, if he was caught drink driving what would happen to him. Would I just be making a bad situation worse?

thanks for the link Kathy Smile

do you think I should maybe talk to the school, if there's a problem perhaps they already have noticed through his children?

TheGirlsMum

My feeling would be to talk to the school you have got to be able to live with yourself if anythig happened and it might not only be his children it involves.

Sorry to put my twopennyworth in.

Haize

I really think you should contact them: best case, it was just an accident with the alcohol like you said, they will give him a warning about the seatbelts, and he may actually listen.

Worse case is that he does have a drinking problem, in which case it could end up traumatic for the children, but definately better than a continuing risk to their lives. Having to have councelling is better than not having a life!

Leonie2

thanks everyone, I'm going to think about this overnight and have a talk with OH and then decide what to do. I just don't want to be a "meddling old woman" who ends up making matters worse.

Kathy

I would contact crimestoppers, it won't make the situation worse if the alcohol smell was a genuine mistake. And he really should be warned about the seatbelts and dangerous driving from the police. A few words from a school teacher won't make any difference I don't think.

lottie

I would phone Crime Stoppers expressing your concerns, ask advice and go from them.

I know that sometimes people who are alcoholic do not appear to be drunk - they drink all the time to 'function'

I know that if I had the slightest concern about a child's safety for whatever reason, I would not ignore it.

One doesn't have to be 'meddling' when a child's life is at stake, albeit from not wearing a seatbelt or the risk of a child being injured through irresponsible driving too fast along a lane - (even if there were no alcohol involved).

Tackle it whichever way you think is best for you - but please do not ignore it - it doesn't sound like a 'one off' incidence.

Libby

I would speak to the school first. They may already be aware there is a problem!!!

But whatever you do don't ignore it, you would never forgive yourself if something happened!!

Becki

Please say something. School is a good place to start although you would have more annoniminity with Crimestoppers.

Pilsbury

I would vote for crimestoppers,that way there can be no recriminations if he is that way inclined. Teachers are OK but there is always the chance of staff room gossip and it getting round.
Let crime stoppers know your fears and they will understand your concerns and might be able to set up something with the local nick to check lots of people at the school not just him so no one realises there is a problem.
I might just be a coward but i would want to make sure something was done but with no come back on me or my children.

Cabbagepatch

[quote="Leonie"]I don't know his name but I can get his vehicle registration number. I just don't want to do the wrong thing. I've never seen a mother collect the children so what happens if he's their only guardian, if he was caught drink driving what would happen to him. Would I just be making a bad situation worse?quote

So, worse case scenario, he is the only guardian and he is arrested for drink driving. He would lose his license but he would still be at home. He could possibly lose his job, but, he would still be at home to care for them.

If he really has a problem, then maybe it would bring it to a head and it would have to be dealt with. In the meantime, he and his children would not have been written off in an accident.

I do feel for you, a horrible position to be in.
Don't feel bad, you are being caring xxx

nanny-now and forever

shop him

there is really no excuse and if he hasn't got an alcohol problem, then at least it might get him to drive a bit more sensibly

if it was me, i would feel awful if i did nothing and something awful happened....

the police wouldn't tell him who the got the info from and you clearly aren't alone in thinking about it....

agapanthus

I agree with Libby....if something did happen???? My ex dil had the same problem regarding some animals a few weeks ago. Her new fella kept saying...."she'll know it was you!"....but she went ahead and called the authorities (good for her) and felt so glad she did afterwards. I realise animals are different than animals ...but everything is relevant...it depends on what you feel. Go for it Leonie... Smile

Leonie2

he is self employed so if it is a drink driving problem and he loses his licence he'll lose his livelihood too. still thinking about it but I think crimestoppers might be the way to go. thing is, bar the drinking which I can't be sure about as it might be a one off explainable event, he isn't breaking the speed limit, it would be a 30mph zone but on a narrow heavily parked and busy with children crossing road doing anything above 10mph seems fast but is within the speed limit. he is however breaking the law with not fastening seatbelts for children that age, they are not in booster seats and I know for a fact they will fall under the height guidelines that stipulate a child that size should be on a booster seat.

alison

Shop him.

Harsh, but you may save those childrens life oneday because of it.

If he does get stopped, and hasn't been drinking, it would be a fine, I guess, for the seatbelt thing and that may be a good enough wake up call.

By all means discuss it with the school, but I would, in this case, ask to see the head privately, and ask for discretion.

Leonie2

If I spoke to the head teacher what if anything could they do? And would they do anything, it's out of school grounds and time so would they be interested in trying to assist with the problem?

Libby

Mmmmmmmmm!!!

Crimestoppers it is! At least they can point you in the right direction!!!

muntjac

get the number the police will sit on him for a couple of days .and then act you dont need to give your name and address i have done this a few times so dont be discouraged .i got 7 drivers and 4 of them had been drinking and 1 under drugs the other 2 was just cr*p drivers , you may save a childs life . maybe your own

Leonie2

okay, I'll make a note of his registration plate tomorrow and phone. I'll leave the school out of it I think.