| Archive for The Potting Shed A forum to discuss Crafts, Cooking, Gardening, Countryside, Livestock and Pets |
| nanny-now and forever |
snow white - the panto for realthe potting shed is proud to present it's latest christmas productionSNOW WHITE starring jojo as the wicked queen lloyd as the handsome prince ratman as snow white cabbage patch ans nursey kathy as the pirate captain coco as the magic mirror grumpy as the pirate ship's cook and various parts taken by anybody else who wanders through can you hear the music chaps? right then ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A KING WHOSE WIFE HAD A BABY AND THEN DIED....THE BABY'S NAME WAS SNOW WHITE THE QUEEN DIED IN CHILDBIRTH AND THE KING REMARRIED ANOTHER WOMAN WHO BECAME QUEEN..............THE CHILD GREW UP... cue queen.................... |
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| Jojo |
Who is the fairest of them all |
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| nanny-now and forever |
you can make more of the part than that this is your big moment jojo milk it sweetie, there could be a contract in it for you the big boys are out front |
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| nanny-now and forever |
jojo?
are you there dear? |
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| Grumpy |
Octopus anyone...................croutons optional | ||
| coco331 |
You are..... hag |
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| Kathy |
HI HO HI HO..............
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| Jojo |
Bring me my trusty woodmen, I need to get rid or that stupid snonwhiteAAAHHHHH | ||
| Cabbagepatch |
COCO | ||
| nanny-now and forever |
better, better you can try and live the part here and we haven't got a woodsman you have a captain of the royal yacht |
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| coco331 |
And does thou not know where to put thon croutons Grumps?? Perhaps up the nasal passage? |
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| Jojo |
I am still the fairest in the land that Snon white has got teenager spots | ||
| Kathy |
Ahoy, shall Me take her t' be drowned dear queen. | ||
| coco331 |
I meant to say SNOW WHITE with her one size too small leapord print leotard is by far the fairest of them all...... |
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| nanny-now and forever |
come along now so the queen realises that snow white is the better deal can we have nursey and snow white say something? don't care what |
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| Jojo |
No take her into the woods and kill her and bring me back her heart !!!!!!!! | ||
| Cabbagepatch |
Oh noooooooo, my poor sweet little girl 
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| coco331 |
Sorry Queenie.....thou is old news.....doest thou not know that Snow White washes her prrrretty face with porridge every evening and thus has abolished the plooks? |
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| nanny-now and forever |
no dear she has to go to the beach, the beach keep to the synopsis where are nursey and the handsome prince and where the hell is snow white? |
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| Grumpy |
I know what I'll do with the croutons you blaggard | ||
| Kathy |
Aye, i'll take her t' the beach and send her out with the tide
Aye, me parrot concurs. |
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| Jojo |
And while you are there Pick some blackberries I fancy a tart 
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| coco331 |
I Scoff in your face....blaggard indeed, imagine, me of the upper sector being spoken to by a lowly dwarf.... get it? |
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| nanny-now and forever |
thank heavens we are moving on a bit
nursey and snow white now please snow white has to tell nursey that she is going for a walk with the captain of the royal yacht and nursey gets a big scene here.............. |
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| Cabbagepatch |
Snow White is still tackling her strap!
My poor sweet angel, how can I protect her from the evil evil evil queen? 
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| Kathy |
Arrr, lets go for a walk on the beach Snow White | ||
| Jojo |
Ok the beach then but detour coming back i still want those blackberries | ||
| coco331 |
RATMAN I SUMMON THEE WITH ALL DUE HASTE TO ATTEND.....What on earth could be greater than our needs?? |
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| Grumpy |
lots of octopus left.............. | ||
| Jojo |
I have got the Apples to go with them | ||
| Cabbagepatch |
Oh I say, I'm sposed to be protecting the beautiful Snow White. Snow White where have you slithered off too?
Instead I've lost the poor sweet girl and now being propositioned by a Pirate Captain. Oh I say, is that a thermometer there or are you just pleased to see me..... |
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| nanny-now and forever |
move on to the pud we could be here for a while where are the handsome prince and snow white the bedroom scene isn't for ages yet |
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| Kathy |
Quick Coco, step into the breach, Ratmans passed out cos of the tight corset. | ||
| coco331 |
Actually, one would prefer half a cup of miso soup with a rice cake if thou's offering |
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| Grumpy |
Squid a la tarte anyone............ | ||
| Jojo |
The Dwarfs cottage near the beach |
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| Kathy |
Ahoy, deary dear, I don't think Me can be doin' this t' that sweet child
A pence for an old man o'de sea? |
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| lloyd |
Here I am, was swashing my buckle. | ||
| nanny-now and forever |
ok i shall be snow white for the nonce
oh nursey what do you reckon? i have been asked to go for a long walk along a short pier i don't know if i should go as i am such a simpering and pure thing i might end up right in the drink if i ain't careful please advise me |
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| Ratman |
Zip, thank you for that fair maiden, oh sorry I am a dame again.
Coo eey Snow White is here anyone home ?? |
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| nanny-now and forever |
just filled in a line or two for you take it snow white |
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| Grumpy |
I'll be to get home to my cottage on the beach. All this sea food is doing for me................. | ||
| lloyd |
I say, Gadzooke, eh wot?....Where's that strapping young filly gone? | ||
| Kathy |
 You missed your cue ratman
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| nanny-now and forever |
filly ? young? is that me? oh how kind must dash as i have to go for a walk with the captain of the royal yacht he seems rather keen and all the nice girls love a sailor |
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| Ratman |
I am here fine Prince and not a pumpkin in sight
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| Kathy |
Hi Ho Hi Ho
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| nanny-now and forever |
right now we are at last all assembled so snow white and nursey have this conversation and they say.................. cue nursey and snowy |
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| lloyd |
Ahoy Captain, where you off to ....ahem I mean wherefore goes thou with my bird? | ||
| Cabbagepatch |
snow white snow white my beautiful beautiful child, whom i have nursed from a wee babe in arms.
don't go near the pier
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| Kathy |
Ahoy, need t' find a lock o' hair t' gi'e t' the queen A pence for an old man o'de sea? I can't kill the poor wench..... | ||
| Ratman |
Listen that woodmen has been chasing me with his chopper for the last couple of hours, says he wants to cut it out, Too right I told him.
He keeps it up he will get a knack in the kickers. !!!!!!!!!! Anyone seen the 7 dwarfs ? they are supposed to find me laying unconcious or something |
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| lloyd |
Not until the January sales anyway! |
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| coco331 |
Whitey was at the hair dressers, the hag should be grateful that I was even bothered to talk to her, let alone take her picture....which is below 
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| Ratman |
Dont worry CP I dont give in to pier pressure (audience groans) | ||
| Cabbagepatch |
Oh no oh no, i spent hours curling her hair this morning. oh please fine pirate, spare snow white.
in fact, you look like johnny depp. take me instead.............................. |
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| nanny-now and forever |
great
so off they go away to the beach but the captain hsn't got the heat to bump off snow white so he tells her that the ferry to tow town will be along any minute and goes away on the way home he stops at the chippie and buys 50 p of chips and tells the queen that they were snow whites the queen says............ |
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| coco331 |
She didn't even remember my name |
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| Grumpy |
Thank god, I can see the shore AHOY THERE......... | ||
| Jojo |
Ahoy there Dwarfs |
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| Ratman |
And though I am asleep no peeking !!!! | ||
| nanny-now and forever |
the queen speaks to the captain of the royal yacht and accepts the chips and then speaks to the mirror and says.......................
(god this is slower than eastenders) |
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| coco331 |
AAARRRRRRRRR YE BUNCH O BLAGGARDS |
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| Cabbagepatch |
is it time for snow white and the handsome prince to have a snog yet? | ||
| lloyd |
Vertically challenged scoundrels, she's mine!!!! | ||
| Ratman |
This is not the same one I remember as a kid, can't we just throw out a load of sweets and go to the pub ?? | ||
| Kathy |
Are ye a pretty wench then................
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| Cabbagepatch |
think some of the cast have gone for icecream!! | ||
| lloyd |
Moi? | ||
| Ratman |
When did snow white meet pirates then ????
Political corectness gone too far me thinks |
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| Cabbagepatch |
'ang on, jack has just climbed back down his beanstalk | ||
| Jojo |
Whats this rubbish you have brought me you blaggard,a load of cockles and the blackberries are not ripe, I will have to do the job myself i can see 
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| nanny-now and forever |
thank you kathy a small bit of sanity and no we can't throw sweets we might hit someone in the eye helath and safety the audience however are getting a bit restive................ cue queen and mirror |
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| Kathy |
Synopsis is here, http://thepottingshed.myfreeforum.org/ftopic3116-0.php | ||
| lloyd |
Methinks Snow White is polishing her magic lantern! | ||
| coco331 |
Oh my lord is that Johnny? OVER HERE....HOY, BUGGER LUGS...I'M THE ONE YOU WANT | ||
| Kathy |
Mirror mirror on the wall come on come on | ||
| coco331 |
Has evil witch queen asked me if shes the fairest in the land yet???? Im lost, on sesame street at the moment | ||
| Ratman |
Romeo Romeo where fore art thou Romeo ? Bet your out with that trollop Snow White again eh | ||
| nanny-now and forever |
well done jojp getting into ti nicely right snow white wanders up and down a bit and then sees this dinky little cottage by the sea she has a look downstairs then upstairs and finds a load of hammocks one of which she climbs in and falls fast asleep the dwarves come home cue pirate captain |
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| Grumpy |
Sqid a la tarte for free, all you can eat | ||
| Jojo |
Here sweet Snow white come taste these sweet apples and don't share them with those little old men
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| Cabbagepatch |
oi you ugly old bat, you leave snow white alone. strap or no strap. well someone had to peek.
enema anyone 
. |
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| coco331 |
Hoy, wheres my bit??? Am I just to be ignored? like some lowely dwarf??? COME ON QUEENIE, ASK ME, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!
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| Ratman |
Can you polish it for me please, oh and I wouldn't mind an apple either | ||
| Kathy |
Aye, har you are my queen, a lock o' the childs hair. | ||
| nanny-now and forever |
we've skipped three whole pages
i'm going to have to have another drink at this rate cue pirates please.............. |
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| Cabbagepatch |
nooooooooooooooo, don't touch them. they hark from tesco | ||
| coco331 |
See my eyes?? they have lasers in them.....if I don't get a job to do then someone gets zapped |
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| lloyd |
Anyone seen my totty? | ||
| Kathy |
Aye, i''e hung from the yardarm Snow white, but don't ask the mirror anythin', tells lies | ||
| coco331 |
AARRRR.... I RECKON IM A BIT O TOTTY WOOOO AAARRRRRR
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| nanny-now and forever |
somebody speak to the mirror i don't care who and i don't care what just make her feel valued please |
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| Kathy |
Queen queen, truly I did for her, you must now be the fairest of them all | ||
| lloyd |
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAgHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! My one true love (today) |
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| Jojo |
Mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all,Oh no are is 10,0000 better looking think the batteries have run down | ||
| Cabbagepatch |
mirror mirror on the wall
who is the fairest of them all? apart from me in my uniform obviously |
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| lloyd |
Mirror, is it true? | ||
| Grumpy |
Oh, who's that sleeping in my hammock? | ||
| lloyd |
The Independent is better than the Mirror anyhow! | ||