The Potting Shed

redwillowrose · Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 7:36 am Post subject: my grandaughter

good morning all,
sorry I haven`t been on here for a while, but I`m feeling very low at the moment. I`m having problems with my grandaughter living with us, in fact its a complete nightmare. I honestly wish I hadn`t offered her a home.
I know some people will think this is terrible, but, if her parents dont want her, you can see how it is for me. I honestly didn`t realise it would be like this. Sophie is sharing her bedroom with her, and she is getting really fed up with it. my grandaughter leaves everything switched on, and this terrifies me, as she left her straighteners switched on, on the bed !!!! it was only lucky that sophie was here, and smelt it, otherwise I would probably have no home now.
I went food shopping on sunday and she thinks she has to open everything I`ve bought, I made an apple pie for after tea, and she went out to get some, and then when I looked , she had taken half of it, and then never ate it anyway. some might say this si normal teenager behavior, but none of mine were like this
She was very spoilt when she was growing up, and I always said my daughter would have problems with her when she was older, but its me that has the problem !
I `m not feeling at all well at the moment,
I`m sorry to go on like this, but I needed someone to talk to. my husband will listen, but then he says that I brought it on myself. but I was just being me, and I didn`t want to see her homeless. and now I just dont know what to do.
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Lyn
http://simpledivine.blogspot.com/

Becki · Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 8:39 am Post subject:

Oh Lyn I am sorry you feel like this. I'm not sure what to say other than to try and talk to your grandaughter. Thinking of you x
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The Card Bee

Libby · Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 9:04 am Post subject:

I wondered where you where??
Some teenagers seem to believe that they can get away with anything. I suggest you all sit down together and have a talk, no raised voices, just tell it as it is, your not made of money and you love her and don't want to see her kicked out but there are rules and if she doesn't like them then she has a choice, put up or get out!!
Hard I know but being kind and understanding doesn't always work. Whats that saying 'cruel to be kind'!!
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"If we reduce the amount of stuff we allow to accumulate in our lives, we won't have to organise it"
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My Blog: http://woodlandsworld2.blogspot.com/

Lizzie · 5 Star Club Joined: 16 Jun 2006 Posts: 2990

I agree with Libby - a calm, sitting down conversation laying down the rules (and not forgetting to listen to her too).

I wish I'd done that a bit more when my teenaged stepdaughter lived with us ...
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TheGirlsMum · Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 10:28 am Post subject:

Talking and setting the boundaries sounds good.

Kathy · Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 1:06 pm Post subject:

Sorry to hear you're having problems, I also wondered where you were, thought you'd been napped by a "man band!"

I agree with everyone else, you sound very kind hearted and find it difficult to say no I suspect. She does need boundaries and you do need to get tough, it's not fair on Sophie after all. Perhaps a very real threat of being homeless might go some way to making her see sense.

mogs · Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 2:56 pm Post subject:

my heart gos out to you RWR having been there myself 3 years ago with the eldest grandaughtr, who was then 18.

our life was a living hell. never knowing when she was coming in, resenting it if we asked her, and expecting everything on a plate.

we bent ovr backwards for her, not doing things for her, but trying to show her how to do things herself.....she managed to find a job, i gave her alift there every day and picked her up every night.......no offer of petrol money.....she could not ' hack the job ' so left, actually w found out afterwards thet the manager could not take her attitude so sacked her. it was too much trouble for her to claim job seekers, so w kept her in food etc, when she did eventually decide she would claim it, w had no money off her, instead she would spend every last penny on clothes the day she got the money, and expected me to kep her the rest of the fortnight.....

as much as i love her dearly, it was the worst thing i ever did taking her in....

she stayed 4 months, then left to go back to the boyfriend who allegedly treated her bad even tho she was told what would happen....he dumped her after a couple of weeks.......when she left her parting words were, i will never come back to live here again, you are worse than mum, then,..............3 months ago she asked could she come back and try again......
although i was upset at having to do it, i said no. i cried myself to sleep for 4 nights worrying about her. i spoke to her mum, and she said, hasnt she told you, she is settled into a nice littel flat. that was within a few days of ringing me....and she couldnt even let me know.

i am sorry to say this, but the teenagers today ( in the main ) are rude, careless and disrespectful to anyone who does not benefit them...even their own kith and kin.

try not to be too upset about it RWR, hard to do but, it is only you that is being hurt by this, the kids dont give it a second thought.

xx

Cabbagepatch · Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 7:31 pm Post subject:

I can only agree with everyone else rwr. Such a difficult situation to be in.

Make sure you visit the potting shed to share and offload. It won't solve your problems but it will help a little bit Smile